Now that May is ending and June is here it is finally time to jump on Willreaper’s ‘super happy expensive fun time summer train of gaming’ so come and take a ride with me reader. It will kind of be like the boat ride in the original Willy Wonka and I promise only to nail the bandwagon in the next lane a couple of times. Hell I might have to give up cable… and eating, before I knew it I had well over a dozen games pre ordered through just the summer. Way to go developers, you delayed the games so damn long that now they’re just coming out in a single large clump. Oh I’m still going to get them but I’m not going to like it you pricks. I’m fairly certain I preordered Elder Scrolls Online and Batman almost two years ago now, so yea I’m kind of committed already. Don’t look at me like that WiiU! You knew what this was when I bought you! Just sit in the corner and wait until I OD on graphic PS4 games.

Right now that that’s out of the way let’s look at our first stop just over the horizon. Here comes Elder Scrolls online, which was renamed to Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited because it really needed a longer title. Supposedly it will be released June 9th but how many times has it been pushed back already? Frankly I want to be excited for a new Elder Scrolls game but I’m not really big on MMOs. Probably because like the cave dwelling Neanderthal I am I don’t use my PC for gaming and never really got into the MMO scene. Of course the game has already been out on PC for some time now, PC gamers being the chosen people and all. For all its hype though the reviews afterword’s seemed to add up to a huge residing ‘meh’. As I was afraid of, it turned off Elder Scrolls fans because it wasn’t really an Elder Scrolls game anymore and it turned off MMOers, or whatever the plural is, because there were already better MMO’s. Not to mention all the bugs it had, most of which have been patched to some degree already… on PC.

Already I’m starting to get a bad feeling about this game, like a little voice whispering dark secrets about how it will fail, the same voice that tells me to set fires oddly enough. Recently there has been an alarming trend of people dropping their preorders and dismissing the game entirely though. Why you ask? Well now that more specifics on the console version have come out it seems to have completely put off some people. One thing in particular that was mentioned many times on multiple message boards was the introduction of the ‘Emperor’ trophy.

Again, I never played the PC version but I understand that the achievement requires cooperation of a group to fight off every other group, while taking multiple targets and for the player to be top of the leader board. That seems like a lot to ask of anyone who doesn’t live in their parent’s basement and has 18 hours a day to play. This may be incorrect since it was only mentioned a few times but supposedly only one person can become Emperor in a given time with a month being the consensus. I can only hope that isn’t correct or else that would mean only so many people could even get the trophy a year. Even if there isn’t a time limit I’m certain this trophy would rank well into the top spots of the most impossible to get. Hell, it kind of turns me off even. I considered dropping the title and waiting until it was cheaper and it was more likely to get the trophy. Getting the platinum and full achievements in Oblivion and Skyrim was a challenge but at least not impossible. Again though, I have been waiting for this some years now and can’t give up. Hopefully some easier method will turn up. The one upside is that there is no longer a monthly fee. So there you have it, the first stop on our magical journey. Kind of a downer but not much farther ahead is a ray of hope with three closely bunched titles Batman Arkham Knight, Onechanbara Z2 and J Stars Victory VS+.

FYI, if you see a Khajiit assassin running around with the ebonheart pact laughing manically it’s probably this crazy bastard.