For the love of all that is good and merciful Sega just let Sonic die already! You stopped beating his twitching body years ago and just started putting his unconscious form in to terrible poses. Let’s call this ‘the era of shit Sonic games because Sega couldn’t figure it out’. Even more cruel and unusual though, now Sega has put Sonic and his pals through the ringer and mutilated their bodies until they are barely recognizable. When I show the new Sonic Boom to my older non-gamer friends who played the original Sonic ages ago I find a repeating pattern. They stare at it confused for a moment and then look at me like ‘What the hell happened to Sonic?’ and I can only nod in agreement. Sonic was ruined because kids today are spoiled, in my day I had 16 bits and I was glad to have that. I would have appreciated a better way to save instead of having to play through entirely every time but I guess I’m the bitchy one now.
Now Sega has dragged the comatose remains out again for Sonic Boom: Fire and Ice. Fire and ice? Really? Let me guess, the entire game will revolve around fire and ice based puzzles and abilities. This is like lazy RPG shorthand. Come on Sega, you aren’t even trying anymore are you? I can’t help but feel as if using the elements and not even all the elements, is just deliberately trying to alienate any part of the Sonic fan base with more than a 3rd grade education. Making it a 3DS exclusive as well makes it seem even more like Sega has no faith in Sonic anymore, can’t even be bothered to put it on the Wii U. Someone told me this is the third Sonic Boom game, which surprised me because I was under the impression there was only one so far. How terrible was the second game where it was practically buried alive to hide it from the reviewers. Frankly, it might be finally time to put Sonic to sleep. The way of Spyro or Crash, quiet and painless. I suggest we pull the plug and drop the body into the deepest hole possible so that Sega can’t dig him back up again.
I almost felt tricked by the trailer; it appeared to have the same side scrolling running action as the original Sonic games. I had to keep reminding myself though that it was only a small part of the game. If Sega hasn’t figured out we want old Sonic and not the era of crap Sonic why would they figure that out now. I did find it amusing when it tried to pass off a versus running game as a new feature. I’m fairly certain I was doing racing games against my friends on the sega 16 bit sonic games. We could choose one of like four zones and then we just went through them as quickly as possible. So what makes it a new feature now when I was doing it decades ago? Did Sega think all the players old enough to remember would have died out by now? In short, if you are tired of just burning your money you could try this game. Although, I have already nominated it for my worst of 2015, which is awkward because it is mainly running against the other Sonic Boom games as of now.
