Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson on the 3DS is a very different kind of game. I actually had an interesting conversation with a GameStop employee when I pre-ordered it. He mentioned how he also pre-ordered the game but he typically didn’t tell people because he didn’t want people to think he was ‘into’ that sort of thing. I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of this; yes the game is clearly designed for boys much younger than I by captivating them with voluptuous women (or girls as some arguments go), I don’t dispute that. The point I made to the salesman is that it is a work of fiction and it becomes what you want it to be. I wasn’t sure what to make of his statement because I never viewed the game that way. I received some amusement from the novelty of it of course but the idea of trying to receive some greater pleasure was baffling. I don’t argue some people do because some people will turn anything into pornography, that’s why we have rule 34 and 35 of the internet.

Now I can safely step off my soap box and make the following statement; the bouncing boob physics in this game are great. I know this kind of ruins my argument but it does make up a large part of the game and its graphics. While the 3D function gives me a headache the graphics are still fairly consistent with other versions on the Vita. The fact that Nintendo picked this game up in general is rather baffling to me though. They clearly made some tweaks however to make it more family friendly but when the premise of the game is to strip or be stripped it doesn’t really matter anymore. Each character has a unique appearance and since there are quite a few characters it becomes a good sized roster. There is not much in the way of backgrounds or enemies though. Backgrounds generally alternate between the same few palate swapped ninja girl scenes. Enemies are even worse in this game than usual since there are actually only a few different types of enemies and all the others are just color swapped versions.

Gameplay and combat were rather frustrating at first but I hesitate to blame that entirely on the game. Trying to play the same way I did on the Vita was probably my first mistake but I also had trouble playing on such a small screen. With very few combos open at first it is easy for boss enemies to find an opening… until I realized I could just jump pound them away again. Every. Single. Time. Stages are all extremely short with the boss battle making up the majority of most. The problem is that if you die at any point you have to start the entire level over which becomes increasingly annoying… until I learned the jump pound of course and I haven’t lost since. I found the controls clumsy to use but you can refill the special attack bar so fast it makes more sense to just spam that until everything stops moving.

The only interesting bosses were usually monsters that didn’t just use a similar attack style to the main characters but they are few and far between. Although special attacks are unique to each character which is a nice change of pace. There is also a team fight mode now where you can swap between two fighters at the same time. While interesting and functional I found it annoying how my partner would lose health and then I would have to switch over to that partner in order to fix the damage. However, it is possible for fallen partners to revive after some time so that does help to balance things out.

I admit I have not finished the story yet, part of the reason why this review is so late but I have to work at some point I guess. I am a good way through and I have to wonder if this wasn’t multiple games at some point? I seem to start an entirely new story with every scroll, yes they are loosely tied together but it seems they could have just chosen one and expended on it instead of starting an entirely new one multiple times. The main story that is highlighted in their opening video doesn’t even start at all until half way though the game. While each section is short it is still interesting to play; even though characters repeat their own catch phrases nonstop in fear you may forget if you don’t hear it at least once a minute; something I refer to as ‘Naruto English Syndrome’ or NES for short. Since there isn’t much in the way of enemies or setting the story is kind of the highlight of the game… that and bouncing boobs of course which are crazy by the way. If there was one feature to this game that completely blows my opening argument out of the water it is the photo shoot mode. Choose a character, dress her up, put her in various poses and take the picture. This is the only point I felt the game was blatantly trying to make me out to be some perverse monster. Maybe not inherently but the options you have will make it seem that way. Or in the immortal words of Ding-A-Ling Wolf ‘Ddddddiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrttttttttyyyyyyyyy pictures.’ This game isn’t for everyone, hell it is more obvious than usual who this game is for. If you can be an adult about it though than you may find some amusement in it… or at least get some use out of your 3DS like I did.